Our day was ruined (cont.)

More news on the Hunter Thomspon suicide afterparty. Rolling Stone weighs in. So does the widow. Let's not forget his final wish to be shot out of a goddamned cannon.

Flowers are as dumb as houseplants

It's true. I've seen 'em. They just sit there. Like idiots. Stupid, green idiots. linkage

Inventor of intermittent windshield wipers dies

Noooooo! Curse you god. Why do you always take the good ones? Why do you test our faith so? (Jokes aside, his story is one of bitterness and frustration.)

Fo' rizzle

Check out Gizoogle and enter a Web site for a little translation of how the site would read if typed by a 14-year-old white suburban kid with an iPod loaded with Snoop Dogg. Here's what it says about Pizzonch: "His hizzy is perfect, he's gots a kickin ride n he's mobbin'
a .38 Special." On www.whitehouse.gov, we read, "President B-to-tha-izzush on Wednesday said, "You is carry'n out challeng'n duties wit S-K-to-tha-izzill n honor in tha hood. And today I bring you a message frizzom bizzle home. Boo-Yaa!: The American thugz is grateful ta you. Yo communizzles is proud of you gangsta style. And as you defend tha cause of freedom, America stands wit you." True dat. And from bible.org, "By tha seventh day God finished tha work tizzy he had been blunt-rollin' n he ceazed on tha seventh day all tha work that he had been do'n."

Manure fire

No doubt you have been riveted to news of burning manure piles. I know I have.

Email sign up

There's an email sign up sheet in the forum in case you want to be notified every time I update the main sections on this site with brand new goodness.

Month.day.year

I'm ditching the day.month.year format on www.MaximumAwesome.com in favor of the more standard month.day.year thing. Personally, I think day.month.year (which goes from smaller unit of time to larger) makes more sense, but I just can't get used to it and I'm only confusing myself and I suck.

Quite Frankly

Advice. Because you need it. This week: Looking for true romance and an olfactory dilemma we call 'Smells like Teen Spirit.' (Pats self on back for Nirvana reference.)

linkage

Our day was ruined: Hunter Thompson shoots self

Doctor of journalism fills final Rx.

This sucks.

Two weeks of "traffic"

I've been using a variety of traffic exchange services for blogs during the last two weeks. It's still too early to tell how well they work, but it does appear that they generate very few page views compared to unique visits. They seem to have exposed the site to new people, and that's great, but I'd prefer if people actually read it and didn't just click through. It's like going to a bar and not stumbling home drunk five hours later. Why else would you go to a bar?

My book hits the shelves

The book I co-wrote is finally out. Zip-a-dee-doo. I guess I've elevated from the ranks of published writer to published author. When do I get to the rank of "able to earn a livable wage"?

Amazon

Barnes and Noble

3 column goodness!

Holy hell, I did it. Took a few hours of tweaking (some img codes got discombobulated in the template window somehow), but I finally customized the Rounders 3 (or Rounders 4, whatever the hell this is) template to do 3 columns. Plus I got rid of those ugly header and footer boxes (maybe it's just me, but I never liked those).

It actually wasn't too difficult once I found a few tips on a blogging type forum. If you want a third column for your own, head on over to my forum, register and ask away.

Where's the crazy?

Wow, look at that. I posted a valentine's humor piece without a crazy bitter screed of hate-fueled anger. Go me.

WolfSurfer (need traffic?, part 4)

Anyone ever try these guys? WolfSurfer? I just signed up (it's free). Just another cog in my traffic exchange experiment.

Valentine's Gift Guide

For some people, this is a happy occasion. The rest of us hate those people. Read up in Section 2, now with 20% more sass-mouth. linkage

Random Stupidity

In this week's offering of random stupidity, News 4 in Jacksonville (why are news channels always in a slanty italics font as if running away from a more carniverous font?...like, News4Jax...and then there's a guy with an obnoxious fake voice saying, "Action News Dorks!!!"...I'm just asking is all...)--uh, anyways, News4Jax reports that those Scratch 'n Win tickets are mostly garbage on account of the top prizes have already been given away and you have no shot to win and you will continue to live a crappy life. I can't make this any more clear: if you play the lottery, you are an asstard.

Art takes one in the face. Again.

Lucian Freud's 2002 painting of a nude Kate Moss fetched more than $7 mil. Because, as we all know, near-celebrity equals art. I keep forgetting that. Stupid me.

Quite Frankly

Advice. Because you need it. This week: December lusting for May, plus how to let down guys tryin to chat you up (pfft, like you need help in that department, you coldhearted bastards). linkage

Forge World

Latest from Forge World. I'm not into dragons myself, but this is still a kickin resin sculpt from Daniel Cockersell. It's almost a foot tall.

Also check out the bust on the bottom of this page, also by Cockersell.

new Quite Frankly coming soon

A new Quite Frankly relationship advice column is coming tomorrow on Maximum Awesome.

Need traffic, part 3

Okay, the quest to keep a healthy supply of mutual links to other sites continues.

The latest? BlogExchange. It's not like the others I've mentioned such as BlogClicker and BlogExplosion. No, BlogExchange doesn't work on a click for credit basis in which random people click just for credits and don't actually look at your page (that's why I have reservations about repeat viewership from BlogCliker and BlogExplosion). For BlogExchange, you just sign up, create a 88x31 button, copy the code onto your page and that's it. Your button automatically shows up on other pages. More traffic to your site generates more button views.

Anyway, let me know what you think of these services.

Gmail

I feel like everybody who really needs a gmail account already has it. Regardless, if you're still jonesing for your gmail fix, all you need to do for a Gmail invite is sign up on my forum. Signing up is painless. Thanks.

The encounter

Lesbian encounter, my friends. That’s the feature entry of the day. It’s such a random, unbelievably gratuitous piece that I had to create a separate page on the site for it. There’s some sexual type stuff going on here, so be warned. I didn’t have to clean up any language, but I did strip down two action figures for the photo shoot accompanying the article. Go me.

As always, see it at Maximum Awesome. Thanks.

For the lady-types

With so much action-figure and hockey stuff lately, I figure I need to give a little something for all you lady-types and non-hockey-types (and judging from the lukewarm shoulder shrug given in the sporting press, there are a lot of you). So here are some cheetah cubs at the D.C. zoo, caged for your viewing pleasure.

Non-news - Hockey

It's not news, it's non-news. WFAN hockey experts Mike and the Mad Dog report that the early word from the meetings between ownership and the players' union today is not good. Contradictory news conferences to follow.

Taco vs. taco

Taco vs. Taco. A self-described fat slob takes on Taco Bell and Del Taco. With a pre-existing ulcer. And acid reflux. And severe vomiting. Be glad, dear reader, you didn't get the hotel room after our intrepid author finished with it. linkage

Typos

What's wrong with me. I posted a short intro to an article on Maximum Awesome four times 'cause I kept finding typos. Just stupid little things. Must've read the damn thing a dozen times. Today is not a good day for proofreading.

Snake Eyes gets chatty

Snake Eyes has responded to my GI Zoo article on Maximum Awesome in a post called "Why I named my dog Timber."

(I swear I didn't post it myself. Seriously.)

It's in the Ethics (?) section of the forum. (while i'm here, i may as well plug it: sign up, it's painless)

Need more traffic, part II

I've been spending some time on BlogClicker and BlogExplosion lately (mostly BlogClicker) to generate traffic for Maximum Awesome, since it's such a new site.

It's almost addictive, like a game. I still have reservations about repeat viewership (getting people to voluntarily come back to the site), but I probably won't know for sure about that kind of thing for a month. I'll put up some comparisons between the two sites, BlogClicker and BlogExplosion, shortly.

If you've had any experience with traffic exchanges, let me know.

Need more traffic?

Hey, I'm new to this whole interweb thing, but I have found a couple of sites that have generated new traffic to my baby, Maximum Awesome.

I don't claim to know yet how much repeat viewership they will generate, but I am a member of both and I can assure you they're worth a try. Check 'em out. (Rest assured, I am not being paid by either.)

BlogClicker
BlogExplosion

Let me know what you think of them.

24

Jeebus, is there anything better on TV than 24? What's that, you say? Professional giraffe wrestling on Discovery Channel? Sure, but I meant besides that.

Monday night, we finally learned how many people's lives are at stake in this season's arc. The answer? Several.

I still have several unanswered questions. What's up with Creepy Ex-husband guy? "We need to talk." You need to shut the hell up pal. The girl needs to go ID a dude she only once met for like two minutes in order to help save millions of people, and she's gotta have static from King Creep? Where's Chloe and her sour-faced wit when we need her? She'd put that guy in his place. Or at least grimace at him. Sourly.

Speaking of which, where the heck is Chloe? Gone for good? They brought back the loser with the soul patch, so maybe they'll kill him off and bring Chloe back. Sort of a two-fer.

Blog hunting

I've been looking around for Blogness lately to see if there's anything worth reading.

Here's something: Hot Ambercrombie Chick. Despite the title, it's not porn, not even soft-core. There's a fair bit of philosophy stuff on there.